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It has been a long time. I used to be such an avid blogger, I always found it very therapeutic. It was also a great way for me to be able to share with those who were concerned, about what was going on in my life, especially a few years back during my cancer journey. It's the end of 2014. Its been one hell of a year. I would say 'heck', because that is more 'politically correct', but, 'heck' doesn't even begin to describe it. I look back and see how much things have changed in the last few years. They have certainly changed in a positive way! I have learned so much, done so much, experienced so much. I know that none of this flows, but I am literally typing exactly what words come to my mind. This will be a raw blogpost. But, that's who I am. I really don't think I have anything profound to say. Nothing intense. No life altering news that is causing me to reflect on every single emotion and thought. I was just back in my childhood home , packing and sorting through some old things and thought 'I want to blog again'. And so that brings me to typing this lovely post. I guess if anything, I can type about the gratitude that I am feeling in my heart. Well, its more like anxiety, but, the anxiety is in turn allowing me to think about the blessings I have in the midst of some of my crazy, imperfect life. I am thoroughly grateful for all the good things in my life. The people who inspire and love me for who I am. The world is full of competition, jealousy, self pity, self absorption, anger, hatred. We see it all around us, once we leave the walls of our homes, (or sometimes we experience those things within the walls of our homes) and embark on our everyday life journeys in the real world, its so easy to feel affected by those. What makes it tolerable and easier to handle is knowing one has a good group of good, solid people who love unconditionally no matter what. I am so blessed to have that. I first and foremost have that with my amazing family that live in the same state as I do, as well as the amazing family members who live in other states. No matter where I go, if there is family there, I always feel safe, loved, and at peace. I am also grateful for the wonderful people (im mainly talking about the close people in my circle, but, please note, there are many people in my casual circle whom I know love me too.. its just a different level of friendship and love) but, I am so grateful for the small group of individuals in my life who are not only involved in it, but also make memories with me, support me, and just bless my life with their love and gift of friendship. Real, genuine people are extremely hard to come by. And once you find those ones who are genuine and loving, though they may imperfect (as I am too), they are the ones to hang on too. Those are the ones I hang on too. Its so interesting how some people come into your life for random time frames. I always seem to learn something from them, whether its positive or negative. I'm grateful for them as well. But, I am certainly grateful for the ones who have seen me at my happiest, saddest, strongest, weakest, and still have chosen to be in my life. Its a rare thing to find. And I am forever grateful. Something that I am really trying to work on now is to not get so upset with people based on their actions. I feel like its so easy to get bent out of shape about the littlest things. I guess maybe that will be one of my 'New Years Resolutions'. I think "New Years Resolutions" are funny because, I know I have been guilty of this, I would make all these goals whenever a new year would approach, and I wouldn't ever see the goal through to the end. And once the goal got hard, or I became complacent, I would just forget about it and move on. But, I feel like its important to constantly have small goals to work towards a big overall goal. If that even makes sense. Life, as I have learned over the last 8 years or so, really is about constant progression. There are moments when you rise and moments when you fall. But the key is to keep the eye on the prize, and when you fall, pick yourself up and keep going. That really is something I remind myself of on a daily basis.