Utah

I have had a wonderful time out here in Utah these past few weeks, it saddens me to think that in a few days I will be returning back to KC. Don't get me wrong, I love Missouri, but being out here has been a huge changing point for me. I feel as though I have received so much enlightenment, so much healing, so much joy.

I have family out here. I love them so much, my love for them has increased more these past few weeks. Ever since fighting cancer, my view has changed. I have developed a stronger love for the Savior, which has given me this deeper love for the people in my life, especially my family. I think of them and their lives out here and how amazing they are. I have learned so much from them over the years, even though we have only seen each other a handful of times throughout the course of our lives. But, there is this amazing bond that we have. Everytime we see each other, it's as if we have never been apart.

I have gotten to know each of my cousin's on a more personal level out here. Being able to do that has given me a greater, eternal love for them. They are all such amazing children of our Heavenly Father. Each of them facing their own trials, dealing with their own day to day lives. They all have given me so much strength.

Family is such a blessing, I have always known it, but now I truly feel it. They are always there for us no matter what. I know that no matter what happens in this life, my family will always be there for me. My family back home has shown me that, and my family out here as well.

I love them all so much, and am so proud of them.

This trip has been so amazing, I have been able to meet so many people and see so many incredible things. I have been able to see old friends and spend time with their amazing families as well. I have been all over the Salt Lake area down to the Orem/Provo area. Spent a day in Park City and spent another day at Sundance. Hiked in the Mountains, saw some breath taking and slightly intimidating water rapids and waterfalls. Kissed a tarantula, double dutched in the canyons, made friends with random strangers, visited as many temples as time would permit, met up with old friends, had mini dance parties at random places, explored the streets of Salt Lake City, had deep conversations, and so much more.

But, it's not over yet, I still have a few more things planned before my plane ride.

I am so grateful that we are able to be sealed to our families for eternity.

My Mantra

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People who really want help may attack you if you help them.

Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.

Give the world your best anyway."

-- Mother Teresa


I love this. It's applicable in every aspect of my life. My goal, to memorize this, and use it as one of my daily Mantras.

What's YOUR mantra?

This Is It

Quote on my cousin's wall...

" You can't move forward if you feel like what you are leaving behind is better for you"



ps. I love this painting. Check out Anahata Katkin, she is a phenomenal artist.

My Happy Place

Sitting in the Denver airport, eating some soup, seeing the mountains in the distance, surrounded by hundreds of people, it may sound crazy to you, but this, this is heaven for me.

Despite a crazy start to this trip, with plane problems and flight delays, I'm almost to the place that I focused on while facing my fears. This place I'm getting ready to visit was my goal. I dreamed of it everytime I sat in the chemo chair. Everytime I wanted to quit, I knew that if I finished what I had unfortunately had to start, I would be strong and healthy again and be able to visit my "happy place".

Salt Lake City. The Wasatch Mountains. The Salt Lake City Temple.

Today was a wonderful Sunday.

Part of it was spent with 4 year olds. They say the funniest things. They have this view on life that is beautiful. Everything is special to them. Everything is amazing. They are also like sponges. They absorb everything, and know so much.


My friend Brittney did a wonderful job teaching them about Choosing the Right, and about the scriptures. It was so neat to see these sweet little children become so excited because they knew what the scriptures were. They knew who Jesus Christ is. It was just so sweet. They have this view of the world, that's rare. They see everything as something special. Their faces light up over everything.

It made me want to be like that. To see everything as something special. To see the world as if I were seeing it for the first time.

I believe that is something we can all do.


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Next Thought....


I was thinking just now, well, I think a lot, I think about the choices I make everyday. The choices I have made in the past. I think about where my life is going, and where it once was. I think about the people in my life, I think about so many things.

I have sometimes moments where I reflect and wonder, if I did the right thing, if I made the right decision, if I should have waited a bit longer before choosing to do something. I think about what could have happened, had I done something differently.

Back tracking a bit, I see where I am now, and I don't have any regrets. I am happy about where I am. I am happy with a lot of things. I see where I am today, based on the decisions I have made and things I have done based on what I felt I was meant to do, or what the Lord wanted me to do. (That was a run on sentence....)

But, every once in a while I reflect. And when I reflect, I think about everything I have done (well not everything, but I reflect back to recent things, decisions, choices, things from the past year/months) and think about how my life would be different had I made different choices. And in that thought, I see why I did what I did, or why that one thing happened, and I feel relief knowing that by trusting in the Lord and trusting myself, I have come a lot farther, had more refining/experience than I would have, had I not listened/gone with my instincts.


That's deep.


..........

New Thought.....

I am full of gratitude. I feel so grateful for so many things. I wouldn't be where I am today without Heavenly Father. He continually blesses my life, sometimes I don't always feel deserving of his blessings. I know he loves me, and I know he loves each and everyone of you. Life is a big mystery at times. It's like we are walking and we can only see 20 feet ahead of us, but God can see a lot farther than that. He knows everything, he knows the desires of our hearts, the pains we endure, the questions we have. He knows it all.

I hope you all know of your Individual Worth. You are amazing, you are priceless. I don't know why, but, I feel like someone reading this post needs to hear it. "The worth of EVERY soul is great in the sight of God." Don't forget that, don't forget that YOU are amazing, YOU are beautiful. The Lord has a plan for YOU. He loves you and knows you.

Whitney is my Inspiration!

Last night my Aunt and Cousin came into town from Utah. It has been a real treat being able to catch up and have some fun.

Brynn (my cousin) and I have been doing crafts..

(Isn't she darling?)

I wasn't originally planning on doing anything crafty, until I was reading my dear friend/sister's blog (Whitney!). She does fun crafts while the baby is sleeping, I have always loved all the things she comes up with. The most recent project of hers really stood out to me.

A Temple Box....

(Here is the one she made.. I love it!)






She's so crafty :)

I decided that I wanted to make one too. We went to the craft store, and I found this little box that can hold pens and such.

I was searching for a some pics of the temple I liked, and I came across this picture.


I love this. :)


Listen Up Boys... :)



Pictures will be up later of Brynn and I's projects.

:)

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind! Actually, the past month has been a whirlwind. And I have loved every minute of it.

I've been looking forward to Summer since January. I knew I would be done with all my treatment, and I would be able to live a normal life again.

It's been amazing! I feel blessed every single day to be alive and thriving.

My 2 dear friends, Brittany and her sister Erin, have been in town, and I have had the privilege to spend my time with them, their other siblings, and their friends (my new friends!) It has been a real treat.

I rediscovered an old love of mine. Lawrence, Kansas. The past few weekends were spent down there, full of random adventures (never a dull a moment).

I look forward to the upcoming weeks as well, I have family coming into town this week, and then in a week and a half I head out to Salt Lake, Idaho, California (everywhere in between) for a few weeks. It's gonna be so great to see old friends, and to see Brittany and Erin again!

I look around and I see the Lord's hand in my life. He continually blesses me every single day. I'm not just saying that, he truly does. He has opened up doors, brought new people into my life, grown my business. I wouldn't be where I am today, without his hand. I also see his hand in the lives of the people around me. It fills my heart with joy and with peace. It is a constant reminder that life is a blessing and is easier when he is with us. My heart is so full right now. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I have my moments still where I feel down, but, those are far and few. Overall, I feel a sense of joy, serenity, and clarity. Something I have desired to feel in my life for many years. It's funny that it took going through a serious illness to feel this way.

Make sure you count your blessings. Look around and you will also see that there is much to be grateful for. There is much to be happy about. The glass is NEVER half empty.

I look forward to each new day. I look forward to my future. I look forward to living :)